No More Dust on MY Sensor!

I found some dust on my camera's sensor so I decided to clean it. I got my bottle of Eclipse fluid, some Pec pads, and a flashlight. I diligently made sure I had a fully charged battery, used the shutter lock up function in my camera to get the shutter out of the way, and commenced cleaning.

I squirted a little Eclipse fluid on my pec pad and noticed that it smelled kind of nice. I sniffed it for a minute or two and felt a little dizzy. I remembered that I was cleaning my sensor so I rubbed the pad back and forth on my camera's exposed sensor. Once I felt that it was clean, I went outside and took a picture of the sky. Back inside and—still some spots on the sensor. In fact, now there were more spots.

More Pec pads, more Eclipse fluid, and more pad sniffing. I woke up screaming in the front yard, with my camera lying on its back in a puddle of water, a still-running water hose in my hand, and my wife standing over me with a concerned look on her face. "Have you been cleaning your sensor, again?", she asked.

To make a long story short, it was difficult, but after a while I got the sensor clean enough. The water hose helped a lot!

I have come to understand one thing clearly: Dust is watching us!

After cleaning my camera's sensor, I decided to eradicate dust from my house. I started seeking dust, and found it. I crawled down behind the toilet, and found some dust collecting back there. I blasted it with an air can and it fled. I then sprayed the area liberally with Lysol to kill the nasty dust. I don't want it to breed.

Next I looked above my bathroom cabinet and found some dust lurking on top of one of the light bulbs. I unscrewed the bulb and put it in a ziplock baggy for later washing in the yard with my water hose. I sprayed the air to make sure that dust wasn't trying to follow me out of the bathroom.

As I went downstairs, I saw it. Some dust was on my left arm! It tried to blend in, but I could see it hiding behind the hairs. I whipped out a moist towelette, eradicated the dust, and from excessive pressure the hairs too. I hope it doesn't scar. But, it was worth it, 'cause there's no more dust on my arm.

When I sat down at my computer, I noticed that my monitor had some dust on the bottom lip of the screen. I squirted a bottle of sensor-cleaning Eclipse fluid on the screen, and it ran down on the dust, effectively killing it and washing it away ... right into my keyboard.

After I replaced my keyboard, I noticed that my monitor was changing colors. Stupid cheap Samsung SyncMaster! I've been wanting to get a better monitor anyways.

I've figured it out! These little dust creatures are entirely evil and mean. They do anything they can to get to camera sensors. I think they must eat sensor surfaces, or breed on them, or else why would they go to such lengths to get on the sensors? I think I saw a dust crop circle on my sensor earlier today. They are clearly signalling their brethren.

As I sit here looking around the room, I realize that dust is everywhere around me. This is much worse than I thought. I'm going to go boil one of those allergy masks in Eclipse fluid, so that I can safely wear it. I don't want to be breathing this dust into my delicate lungs, especially after all that screaming I did at the sensor dust while spraying it with my water hose this morning.

Hmmm, my chest is still sore from screaming ... or is it? Could it be that dust is ALREADY in my lungs, and THAT's why they are sore? OMG, I think dust has gotten to me. It's killing me. I am going to go eat some moist towelettes soaked in Eclipse fluid. Hopefully that will help!

If you don't hear from me for a few days, it could be because of these guys in white coats that Brenda called. They just told me that they were going to take me to a special room to wait while they clean all the dust out of my house. Whew ... I just love my dear Digital Brenda.

Well, I gotta go. The guys brought me a special dust repellant coat with arm coverings and cool buckles for safety. I am gonna wear it for a few days to protect me while they remove the dust. I guess this will help my arm heal too!

Talk to you guys soon. Watch out for dust bunnies!

Keep on capturing time...
Darrell Young